Mental - Who needs a perfect life, when we have perfect gifts?

I've had a tough weekend and now a tough start to my Monday when it comes to Mental strength.  I guess I never realized that our minds can be as flabby as our guts and that if exercised consistently and willfully that we can get stronger and stronger...but it freakin hurts.  It hurts to know that you're not as strong as you hoped you were, or as strong as people think you are.  The word says to think on things that are lovely, pure, just, honest...etc.  However, it's so much easier to let our minds wander, help us feel sorry for ourselves, be afraid, be weak...sleep through life.  We need to be brave, we need to get up and face this coming day and whatever it brings, we need to realign our thinking and realize that we have is good and we need to appreciate whatever circumstance we're in.  Because if we don't, guess what happens?  We will never be able to appreciate any circumstance we find ourselves in...we will always be waiting for that better job, more money, happier day, better life.  That will never come, the life we have now is the one we need to enjoy and let's face it we do have a good life.  No matter what troubles we have...we can think of things that we wouldn't trade for anything in this world.  For me, it's Victor, my family, my son and daughter-in-law....my Daniel.  Thank you Lord for everything that I have...because I know that every good and perfect gift is from you.

Physical - Magic Pill

I woke up today and thanked the Lord for a vacation day....ahhhh a day off.  My first thought was "I don't feel like doing anything today!"  Just veg out for a while, wait for Victor to come home from practice, go see that new movie "Book of Eli" and eat a tub of popcorn...butter free, of course ;-).  Then a little thought crept into my mind, what about doing some yoga?  Hmmmm...I started telling myself a bunch of excuses...it's my vacation day, I ran on Saturday, I'll do it tomorrow....I just don't feel like it!  *pout*  Then I started praying and I could hear my wonderful Lord telling me, Lili, what's going on?  Why do you not want to grow today, why would you waste one single day of your God given life to spend it not getting healthier!  I asked for forgiveness, put on some yoga pants (I love yoga pants, I think that's the reason I wanted to do yoga, just for the excuse of buying them) and put on this great yoga video called "long and lean yoga" with Baron Baptiste.  It's a tough routine, it strength trains you and you are shaking within the first five minutes of the sequence...it's great!  Throughout the routine, I sometimes thought, "hurry up Baron, your sweet soothing voice, is just getting on my nerves, already!"...but then that magical moment came when the end of the video comes, he gets you into this beautiful relaxed sitting position and you breathe in and out and you smile at yourself for doing it just one more day.  So then I'm sitting there, all happy and this other thought creeps into my mind..."why don't you go for a run? Just a 2 mile run, short and sweet? Hu...let's do it"  I open my eyes and wonder if that was me talking to me.  I start getting the urge to feel guilty about not running.  And that's when it hits me.  Balance Lili.  Everything is about balance.  Why do we go to one extreme and then another?  At first I don't even want to exercise and then the other moment I want to do a 45 minute yoga routine and then run!!  Craziness.  That's how we get lost, we forget about how to enjoy and appreciate what we have because we either don't work to get it, or once we have it we want more! 

Remember, always be good to yourself. Whether it's eating oatmeal with blueberries instead of a donut, or telling yourself you did a good job today by taking a walk instead of telling yourself how fat you look in those jeans.  Take it one day at a time.  It is hard work, but it can really be simple.  Just choose the best thing most of the time, meal by meal, exercise by exercise.  Pray about it and ask the Lord to give you balance in your eating habits and your exercise habits and most of all LISTEN. Listen to Him and listen to your body, they'll let you know the right path.  Also...it's all about consistency, there is no magic pill.  Only magical moments.

Post for Christie

Good day everyone.  This post is really just an informational one for my beautiful sister Christie.  She was telling me about her back pain and I've really felt a burden for her and I will pray for her and ask that anyone who reads this post will pray for her as well.  I found this video on youtube and it targets backpain and your core.  My sis will love this.  Also, look up mountain pose (this is my favorite pose!!) and do that one.  I hope it helps you Chris and anyone else who is having back problems.  Love you, Lili

Spiritual - Learning new routine

We were at the gym today and I was so happy because I had just finished my run and I was looking forward to stretching out.  So I go to the mat and do a "downward dog" pose and I think about doing this yoga post run stretch routine I found at Runnersworld.com 
and I was looking forward to using the routine.  Hmmm....what was the first pose?  Did she say pigeon pose...where does my leg go?  As much as I tried I could not remember the routine.  So I had to stretch with some of my familiar stretches and although they felt good, I couldn't help feeling a little disappointed that I couldn't use the new routine.  There's so many things in our lives that we should really invest time into so that when we need to use it, it's readily available to us.  The most important of these things, to me, is my spiritual life.  There is no "faking it, until you make it" clause when it comes to God.  We either really try to spend time with Him everyday, in whatever manner He has chosen to reveal Himself to us (I use prayer, bible reading, meditation) and grow in our spiritual life, however little that may be, each day...or we don't grow and find ourselves feeling restless, bored, unmotivated, sad or just fed up with life.  When all along He tells us, "ask and you will recieve, knock and the door shall be opened to you."  He wants to give us the life that we all know is better than the one we have, but we don't give the time needed to be able to gain that life.  Just like my yoga routine....how could I have thought that it was going to help me if I only watched it once and didn't commit it to memory.  If I want to know the routine, I have to spend time looking at it, maybe writing it down, committing it to memory...so that when the next time comes and I want to use...I'll be able to remember it and take all the pleasure that I know it will provide.  So it is the same with God.  We need to spend time getting to know Him and learning about Him, so that when the time comes that we need Him during the day...He will be there in verses that we have committed to memory, in prayers that make us feel close to Him or any other way that helps us feel close to him.

Relational - There's always 3 sides

I was doing my yoga after my run last night...I'm not sure why, but yoga and running just go hand in hand, (I hope to understand why this is one of these days) and I was doing this triangle pose.  This pose is a little misleading because, to me, it seems like a pretty easy pose to maintain...but it wasn't .  You have to be balanced on all 3 limbs to be able to stare at your hand above your body up to the "sky".  At first, I was getting impatient, but after a deep breath in and out, I repositioned my front leg just a little and, Voila!, I got the pose.  So then I was shown by my wonderful Lord, that this is what our relationships and our views about what happens to us everyday needs...a little repositioning of our "mental leg".  In every relationship, no matter how close or how distant it is, God is in the middle of it.  You see, God is love...and what is love??  Love is:
Patient - When was the last time you were patient with someone?  Were you patient with someone today?
Kind - Was someone kind to you today? Did you feel the need for you to be kind to someone?
Not envious - Did someone lift you up today without feeling insecure about themselves?  Did you admire someone today?
Humble - Did you swallow your pride today?  Did someone apologize to you?
Polite - Did someone open the door for you?
Looking out for others welfare - Did you think about someone you love and hope they're doing good?  Were you asked if you were ok?
Long suffering - Did you put up with someone else's story...for the 3rd time :-)?  Or did someone hear you out?
Honest - Did you tell the truth?  Was someone honest with you?
Protection - Are you safe?
Trustful - Do you trust someone...does someone trust you?
Hopeful - You made it one more day...you hope tomorrow will be better or just as good.

I'm sure most of us will say yes to some of these...if not most of these questions.  So then I have to ask myself...with all these evidences of love around us...why then, do I still doubt that God is with me?  Why do I doubt that He wants only the best for me?  Why do I doubt that my future is a great future and that it's in His hands?  Why do I feel alone?

"Oh me, of little faith!"  The next time I'm tempted to feel sad or depressed about how empty or sad my life feels...I will remember what love is.  I will remember that every single day I have proof of God all around me and in all the different people He has surrounded me with to manifest His love for me.  Every relationship is a triangle, in some small or huge way.  It's me, you and God (through one or more of His traits).  We just need to reposition our perspective a little, to be able to see this triangle and thank our Lord up above for surrounding us, everyday...with His love.

Mental - Thank you, thank you Silence ~Alanis Morissette

Lyrics: 


How bout getting off of these antibiotics
How bout stopping eating when I'm full up
How bout them transparent dangling carrots
How bout that ever elusive kudo

Thank you India
Thank you terror
Thank you disillusionment
Thank you frailty
Thank you consequence
Thank you thank you silence

How bout me not blaming you for everything
How bout me enjoying the moment for once
How bout how good it feels to finally forgive you
How bout grieving it all one at a time

Thank you India
Thank you terror
Thank you disillusionment
Thank you frailty
Thank you consequence
Thank you thank you silence

The moment I let go of it was
The moment I got more than I could handle
The moment I jumped off of it was
The moment I touched down

How bout no longer being masochistic
How bout remembering your divinity
How bout unabashedly bawling your eyes out
How bout not equating death with stopping

Thank you India
Thank you providence
Thank you disillusionment
Thank you nothingness
Thank you clarity
Thank you thank you silence

yeah yeah
ahh ohhh
ahhh ho oh
ahhh ho ohhhhhh
yeaahhhh yeahh

I posted this video and the lyrics to it because there was a long time during this past year when I couldn't get my mind to be silent, to enjoy the moment, to not let my thoughts try to make me go crazy.  Sometimes, I would actually have to stop and yell at the top of my lungs, "MIND....BE QUIET...STOP!!!"  I could not get it to stop thinking over the things that had happened, over the things I could have done differently but didn't, over the things that were said to me, done to me...etc.  You know where I've been, right?  Or maybe you're there right now.  I pray for you if you are there right now..."Lord, give my friend, my sister, my brother, peace and quiet right now...Amen".  Then finally one morning I woke up...and there it was...silence, beautiful, wonderful, peaceful silence.  I began to cry.  Then this song came to my mind.  I downloaded right then and there and read the lyrics while I listened to it.  Victor came into the bedroom and saw me crying and probably thought something was wrong.  I remember just telling him..."honey, I have it again, I have peace."  I played that song for the rest of the weekend.  Every verse was a reminder of how God can use all the bad things that we've experienced to help us appreciate what we have.  The fear, the terror, the disappointments can all help us get back on the right track to where we're really supposed to be.  They actually help speed up the process because with them we run back to God and tell him..."i'm sorry, I've messed up, PLEASE show me the way, show me your Way...because my way only led me to destruction (those transparent dangling carrots!)"

Now, I'm going to tell you a really fast way and then the hard way to get silence.  The fast way is to help, for the torture of the mind, right now, and the long way, is the hard way, but it's the permanent one.  The fast way, is to do a really complicated yoga move.  The one that brought me quick relief, when I was in that noise, was this yoga pose.  It works so beautifully.  Stare at the clouds, at the mountains, your favorite picture...concentrate on your breathing, in and out through your nose...grab your leg, extend your arm and let your eyes focus.  You will get silence, you have to have silence in order to to be able to maintain this pose :o)!
Now the hard way...the long way...you work towards balance in your life.  You eat right, you exercise, you pray, you meditate, you read your bible, you are good to people, you forgive people and you feed your mind with educational, interesting thoughts, books, music and other things (like this blog....just kidding!)  I promise, you achieve balance, and you will have longer periods of silence, joy, peace...happiness.  Let me know if you need anything, remember....I'm here on this earth to help and to be helped by you.  Love you and thank you Lord for another day!!

Physical - Phantom Pains

I came home from work on Friday and really felt the need to just sit and meditate after a long work week.  Victor (he's an assistant varsity b-ball coach) was at his game, it was too cold to run and I just needed to have some quiet time.  So I start mentally preparing for my meditation, I make sure I'm in a comfortable position, my hair is out of the way and I take a deep breath and start my meditation.  About 2 minutes into my meditation, of course, there is a stray hair (I always know there's one hair that will know how to stay on my face) that is tickling my neck and I have to refocus and try to forget it's there.  Then one of my dogs comes up to me and since my eyes are closed, I can only imagine that he's sitting there just staring at me and he sneezes on my arm and then curls up and lays down next to my leg.  So I take a deeper breath and try to get back to meditating when suddenly there is a loud noise outside and my eyes fly open and the dogs start to bark....so much for meditating...the moment is over and I just thank God for the little time I was able to put in.  This made me think about our bodies.  They will always cry out for attention.  Whether its a craving we're trying not to give into, or a pain inside that wants to get us depressed, or a little nagging headache that won't let us concentrate and just feel bad for ourselves.  Our bodies are like spoiled children that always want the mind's attention and most of the time we give into ourselves because it's the easier thing to do.  However, sometimes...most of the time, we have to be the "grownups" over our bodies and say, "no, you are not going to eat that snickers today, or no, you are not going to feel scared over that issue again, or get your lazy butt off that couch and go for a run!".  The thing is, though, that we should ALWAYS be kind to ourselves.  We should always listen to our bodies and determine whether the need is really real or is it false.  If what we're feeling, like say a sore knee, we should listen and say "I'll be nice to my body today and not work out", but if we are feeling moody or sad about an issue that is in the past and resolved, we need to tell ourselves, "that's over with, there's nothing to be scared or sad about, the issue is a phantom pain".  Then at this point, start listening to the Lord and see what issue is really there so that we can deal with growing and not wasting time on "spilled milk" that has already been cleaned up.

Spiritual - God and the wheel

There's this pose, the wheel with one leg lifted (i'm not sure what the technical term is) that keeps me very focused and intent on getting it.  I keep trying and trying and no amount of push ups, mental pep talks, balancing tries...etc., have let me achieve this pose.  I want this pose, I need this pose, I will get this pose!!  So last night, after some cardio and crunches, I thought "i'm going to get this pose tonight!"  So there I go, getting on my back, willing my legs and my arms to carry me and up I go into a back bend.  As much as I keep trying to get my leg off the ground, it just won't go.  I pray please Lord...let me get it...and it still doesn't go up.  And so...I give up one more time, BUT... only until next time.  Now, I have to say that when I first started trying to get this pose, about 3 months ago, I couldn't even get into the back bend position.  Little by little, I started feeling the pose and eventually got in the wheel pose, but the leg just won't go up.  So I'm not sure how to get this pose, I try balance, mental, physical strength...not one of these things is enough.  This pose reminds me of how my spiritual life should be.  There should be no balance when it comes to God.  He is the one constant that I want to be in my every waking and sleeping moment.  There is no "balance" to how much I should love Him, because He loves me so much.  Mentally, I can't fit the Infinite into my finite brain, so I need to accept what He chooses to reveal of Himself to me little by little, day by day.  Physically, He provides for all my needs and give me beauty to gaze upon and my body to do yoga with, but ultimately this shell is His, His temple, not mine.  So I will keep trying to reach this pose, just like I will keep trying to walk in His righteousness and His will, but I don't have it all yet, and tomorrow I will try again.

The Core

I was doing a Yoga sequence that came in my Yoga Journal magazine last night that concentrates on strengthening your core strength.  I love any exercise that promises to build my core...it just sounds so foundational, so strong, so much about the essence of my body.  When I reached the last pose, Bakasana (Crane Pose) , I was excited to find that I could actually hold it!  Ok so it was for about 3 seconds, but it amazed me at how good it felt and how balanced my mind and body felt.  So I was thinking about this pose.  I think that what I loved about it is how it applies so well to how we need balance in our lives.  I have mentioned before that I'm striving for balance in my spiritual, mental, physical and relational sides of my life.  It just amazes me how universal truths have a way of being at "the core" of everything we learn.  Yoga is also about achieving balance in four areas (they are called purusharthas): dharma, artha, kama and moksha.  Imagine that!  How is it that everything is about balance and how things are so connected!  What I also loved is that if you have balance, you can achieve great things.  I looked at the picture of the Crane Pose and thought "man, that takes a lot of strength!"  But in reality, if you have the balance and the focus, your arms can sustain the weight.  I can apply that to my life and how maintaining balance helps me stay focused, be joyful, be at peace and pursue my true purpose (which I believe is to love and help people, but even that gets deeper...how do I do this? what avenue? where?? I guess it's a topic all by itself!!).

So I think that what I'll do from now, to give this blog a little more structure, is to dedicate an entry to each of those four areas.  I'll also see what Yoga teaches me along the way in these areas...I'm pretty excited to see what comes of it.  I started doing yoga poses and sequences when I felt unhappy and couldn't seem to enjoy living in the moment.  I found that since it's all about focusing on the moment, that it helped me to come out of the dark place I was living in and has helped me to become more in tune with my body and thank God for each and every moment he grants me.  Once again, the Creator of this universe knew exactly what He was doing when He created us!  Amazing.

The Matrix

I was watching the Matrix this morning and found how sad and unsettling the theme of the movie really is. I don't remember most of the movie since I saw it so long ago and this morning I only watched the part where Keannu (what's his name?  Nemo?) chooses the red pill over the blue one and this allows him to break out of his pod.  However, it did remind me of an article I read yesterday and how intricate and complicated man's free will is here on earth.  The article comes from a wonderful jewish website I found, it's www.aish.com (it has so many awesome lessons, anyone wanting more wisdom should really check this out!) and the article (http://www.aish.com/tp/i/m/48954241.html) talks about free will and how ultimately here on earth there is almost a sort of limited type of free will.  I guess this is really where my feeling of being "stuck" originated from.  I kept telling Victor how we are kind of "stuck" with each other (no matter how good the marriage is), because as Christians, our responsibility is to make sure that we represent God through our marriage.  So here on earth, it's kind of like a proving ground, we are given this "free will" so that if we choose to listen to God and really do what He says (which is the ONLY way we will ever be truly happy here) then we will be able to spend eternity with Him.  However, if we choose not to follow Him (which only leads to misery) then we won't get to spend eternity with Him.  So...do you see "the matrix"?  We have free will, but if you're a Christian, you really only have the choice to do what He says!  Which is great because this will lead to true happiness, but what happens to us is that Satan distorts this truth and starts telling us that we shouldn't choose God's way, we should do what feels good right now.  He is such a good liar!!  We are like sheep, dumb and stupid, and we fall for his lies sometimes.  The best part comes at the end of the article, because even though our free will here on earth is limited to God's way or our way...in eternity we will have true free will, but by the time we get there we will have proven our character and that we really do want to follow the Lord!  Thank you God for being such an awesome God...I hope everyone has a Great 2010 and I pray for His will for our lives.