Meaningful Dreams

I also started having some very meaningful dreams during the beginning of this birds eye life view (BELV).  One dream I had was about a meeting we were having at work.  The staff was around the boardroom table and there were cards facing down on the table.  We were all taking turns picking a card and reading it aloud to everyone in the meeting.  When it came to my turn, I went and picked up a card and turned it around to start reading.  I was confused because when I turned it around, there was nothing on the card.  At first I tried to stall and pretend that I was reading something, but then it became clear to me that I couldn't pretend.  So I looked up and told my boss..."there's nothing for me to read on this card."  She answered and told me, "I know, you get to make up your own story."  I remember being really happy when she told me and amazed, "I get to write my OWN story??!"  She said, "yes".  You see, I was feeling really stuck at the time, I kept thinking "why do I feel as though this is not my life...my life is supposed to be better than this!"  Most of you who know me, know that I have a pretty good life...great husband, great job, beautiful son and daughter-in-law, a beautiful grandson.  But, why do most of us look up one day and say, "the grass must be greener on the other side."  I never thought I would do this, but I did.  We fall for the LIE.  We start forgetting to appreciate what we have and we start coveting and being envious of what other people "seem" to have.  It's all a lie, we are being played.  This dream let me know that I'm still the author of my own life, my own happiness, my own dreams.

I was praying, meditating and reading my bible last night.  I had had a rough day yesterday and I was praying for answers and illumination.  I started reading about Abraham and how he sent out his servant to go find a wife for his son Isaac from among his people (he didn't want a Canannite wife because what does light have to do with darkness?  Do not be unequally yoked).  So the servant goes out and prays to the Lord and tells him to give him a sign.  He asks that whoever the woman he asks to give him water and she responds with, "let me give you water and your camels also", will be the woman for Isaac.  So along comes Rebekah (who happens to be very beautiful, lucky Isaac) and she offers to give him and his camels, water.  The servant thanks the Lord for his faithfulness.  So then Rebekah takes him to her home and the  servant tells her father and brother that his master is very rich and the Lord has chosen Rebekah to be Isaac's wife and can he go ahead and take her to a far away land the very next morning?  The family is hesitant and asks him to at least let her stay for 10 days so that they can prepare for her leaving.  The servant, says no way, I need to go tomorrow morning.  So they tell him, "well, it's up to Rebekah, if she wants to leave tomorrow, then it's ok wtih us."  So they call her in and ask her if she would leave her home the next morning, to a far off land, where she's never even seen the guy she's going to marry and the brave girls says....YES!  So I told my husband the story and told him that what it said to me was that if God asks you to do something...don't hesitate, be brave, be courageous and do it.  The only thing we need to fear is God (and this just happens to be the fear of not choosing what God has in store for us, which is only the BEST!). 

So this morning when I was praying, the thought of telling people about this blog came to me.  My first reaction was fear and being scared what people would think.  But then Rebekah came to my mind and said to me "be courageous, don't fear".  So I sent out a link to some of my friends by email and put the link on facebook.  If I can help just one person by the valley I've been through and the wisdom I'm asking for then any embarrasment I feel for putting myself out here will be worth it!  (Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; be not afraid, neither be dismayed; for Jehovah thy God is with you wherever you go.)

Writing Wisdom

I've gone through a real rough time for the last 6 months (beginning in July with my miscarriage, after 7 years of trying to get pregnant) and I'm finally seeing the LIGHT!  I actually started with this strange feeling about 3 weeks ago, where I began to feel as though I was seeing the world from a birds eye vantage point!  It was so strange, I felt as if I could sense what would happen next throughout my day.  One of the first mornings when this began to happen, I texted my husband and just KNEW that he would not text me back (which is very uncharacteristic of him, he loves to text!).  I started panicking because I thought maybe it was a  premonition of something bad happening to him.  I started calling his work and finally got through to his boss, who told me that he was fine and he would have him call me.  He had forgotten his cell at home.  This was a relief, but I just couldn't shake this strange feeling of knowing more than I had known before.  I recently started running, meditating, praying and eating really healthy.  I honestly think this is what has triggered this "birds eye view" on life!  I love it!  However, I digress...I want to really search out wisdom and live my life to fulfill what it is that I've been put on this earth to do.  That is to love people and help them find balance in their lives.  I recently just found this out as well and I'm on a mission.  Part of this mission is to make sure I write this journey down and write down any pieces of wisdom that comes my way.  This weekend, I was meditating and praying and I recieved this insight:  If we don't appreciate what we have at this moment, it will be taken away.  So appreciate people and circumstances just the way they are now, because once it changes or they are taken away, we won't have any regrets about appreciating them to the fullest while we had them. 

Now I understand that some people will say...well, heck that's just common sense.  However, I know I was having a hard time doing this (still do sometimes during the day), but I'm working hard at appreciating every moment and being happy.  I wasn't happy for a while and you forget how to be happy when you're in such a dark place.  I forgot how to live in the moment and I'm able to do that again.  I forgot how to have peace of mind, how to have silence, how to embrace the life that I have and not want another life...I kept thinking that this life was not mine.  I was living in a very strange place and now I'm back.  Thank God!!