Happiness and Me

So this is a blog post that I knew was in me somewhere deep inside and just never could imagine what that would look like!  And here it finally is.  I think it's been here for some time, I just never felt inspired to write it because it's been feeling kind of normal for a while.  What is the big deal with feeling happy and content was what was prohibiting me from thinking too much about it.  And yet, every day for a few months, I am still constantly amazed at the lightness of being that is my everyday feeling.  Why do I say lightness of being?  Because that's the best way to explain it.  I don't feel heavy and burdened down with negative thoughts or pain in my heart or dark clouds.  I remember wondering if this state that I'm in was even possible.  I would work every day to think positively, to be consciously grateful for my life and what I have, to count my blessings, to negate the things that I felt I was missing.  I thought that this would be my constant daily work.  I dared to hope that one day it wouldn't have to be such an up hill walk, and then it leveled off at some point, and it was like I didn't even notice...until now.  I guess I kept waiting to feel that drag again.  I kept thinking that I would have to battle my thoughts soon again.  I kept feeling out my insides for any glimpse of pain.  Nothing happened.  Only peace and happiness.  Excitement over my life is here.  Love surrounds me.  Please don't think I am bragging.  Holy Shit!!  Far from it.  I'm just letting you know that it's fucking real!!  LOL!  What did my work look like??  Reading positive things, yoga, meditation, being kind, eating healthy, shutting the negative voices up, believing that I'm wonderful (along with everyone else on this planet), removing guilt and shame, doing things that make me happy, not doing things that I don't want to do, giving myself permission to be happy, knowing that I'm worthy of everything I want...etc.  So the question is, does everyone else's work look the same?  I don't know.  I can't imagine that the same things that make me happy, makes everyone else happy so it can't look exactly the same...but it might have the same template!  Also, it wasn't easy.  Not at all.  But nothing worth having ever comes easy does it?  So don't expect this most precious state to be any different.  The moment we start feeling sorry for ourselves because this is too hard, is the moment we stop and tell ourselves to put our big girl/boy panties/underwear and keep at it.  Learn to rest and then keep working.  I'm so damn excited for the rest of this year and I just cannot wait to see what it will bring.  I've learned that I'm a co-creator in this life of mine and the other half is pure unadulterated LOVE, God, the Universe, I AM...whatever you want to call that beautiful wonderous Being of Light that surrounds us all, and I can do whatever the hell my heart desires!  Doesn't that sound wonderful and amazing?  I hope everyone finds their happiness and joy.  My heart and love goes out to all of you.  Remember everything is going to be ok and this is just a tiny snippet together in this game of life through eternity.

Peace and Love babes,
Lili

Soul Food 2015

So it's the first Monday of the New Year 2015...and hell yeah, I'm off!  Seriously I should do this every damn year.  Haha.  It's like I want to prolong getting back into the regular schedule of my life and it makes me wonder why??  I work really hard at self improvement, being positive, seeing above circumstances...but during this new year holiday I was in total shut down mode.  I just wanted to watch tv, eat all the good food, drink good beer, and hang loose.  So I did.  Problem is now I can't seem to snap out of it!!!  I think that I can try too hard at becoming who I think I'm supposed to be, that I forget to just freaking enjoy who I am exactly at this moment.  I have to stop and wonder who is this "person" that I'm aiming for, and what is so much better about her than I am right now.  This "future" Lili really is a bit too perfect for my carefree taste, I'm not sure how much I appreciate her super duper excellence.  Fuck off with that noise, am I right?  I'm not even sure if there's someone I'm supposed to impress or who it is that is expecting me to be better?  I think that if something feels rough and just not right, that it's ok to take a step back and see if there's not a better way or a simpler way of doing the same thing.  In this case, it is living my life to the fullest.  I expect my fullest life to look super exciting and focused and powerful...yet, when I exhaust myself trying to make it like that, the only thing I want to do is sit back, relax, and bake cookies.  I remember that part of the trick to a balanced life is that we should work hard, but not forget to then sit back and enjoy.  We have to let all that work marinate with our selves and our lives so that it can get really juicy again and not dry up from all the work.  So I'm marinating right now and I'm not sure how much longer I will have to marinate.  I know for sure that it's at least one more day!  I love that on the same day that I feel like doing absolutely nothing, this is when I write my first blog post of this year, without even intending!! LOL!  See it's already working!  Creativity is boosted when we are relaxed and having fun.  It doesn't have to be super hard work if we just play at life and remember that it really is a game.  Plus, try to remember that we have all CHOSEN to be here.  We are all part of the brave souls that volunteered and said, "hell ya, let me have some of that action on earth!", fully knowing how tough and challenging it was going to be.  We are some kick ass souls down here and the more I remember this and look around me, the more I love the souls I see.  We forget that we are all made of the same stuff and I just love that we are experiencing this life that "even Angels long to look into" (New Testament, 1 Peter).  So with that, I'm off to bake some cookies and make some chicken soup.  It's not called Food for the Soul, for nothing!

Peace and Love,
Lili