So it's the first Monday of the New Year 2015...and hell yeah, I'm off! Seriously I should do this every damn year. Haha. It's like I want to prolong getting back into the regular schedule of my life and it makes me wonder why?? I work really hard at self improvement, being positive, seeing above circumstances...but during this new year holiday I was in total shut down mode. I just wanted to watch tv, eat all the good food, drink good beer, and hang loose. So I did. Problem is now I can't seem to snap out of it!!! I think that I can try too hard at becoming who I think I'm supposed to be, that I forget to just freaking enjoy who I am exactly at this moment. I have to stop and wonder who is this "person" that I'm aiming for, and what is so much better about her than I am right now. This "future" Lili really is a bit too perfect for my carefree taste, I'm not sure how much I appreciate her super duper excellence. Fuck off with that noise, am I right? I'm not even sure if there's someone I'm supposed to impress or who it is that is expecting me to be better? I think that if something feels rough and just not right, that it's ok to take a step back and see if there's not a better way or a simpler way of doing the same thing. In this case, it is living my life to the fullest. I expect my fullest life to look super exciting and focused and powerful...yet, when I exhaust myself trying to make it like that, the only thing I want to do is sit back, relax, and bake cookies. I remember that part of the trick to a balanced life is that we should work hard, but not forget to then sit back and enjoy. We have to let all that work marinate with our selves and our lives so that it can get really juicy again and not dry up from all the work. So I'm marinating right now and I'm not sure how much longer I will have to marinate. I know for sure that it's at least one more day! I love that on the same day that I feel like doing absolutely nothing, this is when I write my first blog post of this year, without even intending!! LOL! See it's already working! Creativity is boosted when we are relaxed and having fun. It doesn't have to be super hard work if we just play at life and remember that it really is a game. Plus, try to remember that we have all CHOSEN to be here. We are all part of the brave souls that volunteered and said, "hell ya, let me have some of that action on earth!", fully knowing how tough and challenging it was going to be. We are some kick ass souls down here and the more I remember this and look around me, the more I love the souls I see. We forget that we are all made of the same stuff and I just love that we are experiencing this life that "even Angels long to look into" (New Testament, 1 Peter). So with that, I'm off to bake some cookies and make some chicken soup. It's not called Food for the Soul, for nothing!
Peace and Love,
Lili
