for the second time. I really wanted to listen to it again, because he talks about Trump and how sometimes chaos and disorder leads to better ways of doing things and sometimes even creates masterpieces. So I know the first time I heard it, it gave me a lot of joy. So I thought I'll listen to it again, because Trump's tweets about China kind had my brain full today. It didn't give me the same kind of warm feelings but I'll take what I can get. It's kind of sad actually that all I can think about is this new administration and how it might affect all of us, including the rest of the world. I was also keeping up to date with the vote on Italy's referendum yesterday and I was so sad to see that they voted no. Although on a very happy note, the Dakota Pipeline will be rerouted and Austria voted in a Democratic President. I have never been so up to date with politics as I am right now and to tell you the truth its exhausting. I feel like I have this guard up and I can't let it down with watching frivolous t.v. or reading frivoulous books, but I think I have to force myself. Or is this what responsible adulting looks like? I'm usually a very carefree person, but good god, I have changed my routines so much in the past couple of months. I'm always analyzing, reading, thinking, looking for I am not sure what?? It's like I don't want to waste anytime not working or making myself a more productive human being. I don't know why.
I don't think I can save the world, but if I can stay on top of things, maybe I won't be caught as off guard as I was by the election results. I guess my brain cannot wrap itself the fact that people voted for this person. This person with his filthy mouth, his horrible dealings with people, his irresponsible lies, his bigotry....ugh, I can go on and on. How were people entranced and bamboozled by this guy?? I just don't get it.
I know we want to believe that there will be someone to save us, but the reality is, that no one's coming to save us. We have to work at making our lives better. We have to work at being healthy, being educated, being successful, having a nice life. Even when we are born with a silver spoon in our mouths, guess what...you still have to work at being happy in your own mind, in your own body. We still have to manufacture our own joy, our own happiness, our own satisfaction. It's all still an inside work and it saddens me to understand that a lot of people don't want to do this. They'd rather believe the lies of an obvious con man and risk their own self destruction and the destruction of others, than work at making their lives better. Look I've been laid off, I've been a single mother, I've been in debt...and I'm sure others have it even rougher than I've ever had it, but there comes a time when we should get a hold of the reins of our lives and say this is where I'm gonna steer it to. It happens by making teeny tiny good decisions every day. Hell yes, those decisions suck at first, (i.e. forgiving people, taking responsibility, going back to school, paying that ticket, putting down those cheetos, going for a walk), but I can tell you that after a while you gain momentum and it's not as hard as it used to be. You learn new skills, new tools and you move forward. So I guess that's why I'm trying so hard at being productive. I don't want to be complacent, I want to practice what I preach...and then, "Que Sera, Sera"...but at least I know I've done my best at being me.
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