Another Christmas has come and gone. I don't know why that thought makes me a little sad?? I have no idea why that is? Maybe the thought of time passing and knowing that my days are numbered? Haha. I have no idea. I normally don't think of death and its implications, but I guess underneath it all I feel it. We were eating at Pei Wei today and I looked over at my husband and thought "this is what heaven on earth feels like". The thing about my life is I've worked so hard to make it look the way it looks now, that sometimes I remember all the work and I allow myself to reflect on the fruits of the work. I think I should do it more often, really. As soon as the thought enters my mind, I also think, that perhaps if people knew that's what I think, that they would not understand and think I was crazy for thinking that. Truth be told, I think it IS a crazy thought. We are not taught to believe that we can have paradise here on earth. Most of us, I would assume, are taught that this life is the testing ground to see if we make it to paradise at the other side of death. As much as I believe there is a beautiful world waiting for us, that shouldn't mean that we don't make the life we have now as beautiful and as "heaven on earthy" as we can make it. What does that look like for me? Feeling healthy in my body, having great relationships, having a clean conscience, having a rich spiritual life, learning new things, experiencing new things, enjoying beautiful things. So I pursue things that touch any of these things in my list. If they don't touch the things that I want in my life then I have no problem passing them up. For example, if there's an activity that someone wants me to partake in and I don't feel like it, or it doesn't bring me some sort of satisfaction, then I can easily say no. Most of the time, though, bringing happiness to someone makes me feel good, so I don't think I say no very often. I love people and I love to help them help themselves. I enjoy hearing them out and giving advice when asked. If no advice is requested, then I enjoy just listenening. It's fascinating to learn how people think and how all of our minds work and think so differently. I think we all tend to think that people think the same way we do and it is so hard to understand that ...nope....people see things super differently than we do. They come from all kinds of different experiences, backgrounds, ideas, etc., that provides them a whole set of different palettes that differ from ours so that it allows them to paint their worlds so much more different than how we paint ours. Therefore, seeing things as others see them is truly interesting to me and that is why I love to hear people out.
So onto the new year this week and see what experiences and learning this new year will bring. I am excited and I want to welcome it all with openness and positiveness in my heart and mind. I can say that I've never really experienced so much anxiety and fear about the future as I have in the past few months, and I just have to relearn how not to do that. I remembered my favorite saying today,
"Be brave and mighty forces shall come to your aid" - Basil King
I will remember and apply that this coming year.
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