My motto this year Be Brave

Another Christmas has come and gone.  I don't know why that thought makes me a little sad??  I have no idea why that is?  Maybe the thought of time passing and knowing that my days are numbered?  Haha.  I have no idea.  I normally don't think of death and its implications, but I guess underneath it all I feel it.  We were eating at Pei Wei today and I looked over at my husband and thought "this is what heaven on earth feels like".  The thing about my life is I've worked so hard to make it look the way it looks now, that sometimes I remember all the work and I allow myself to reflect on the fruits of the work. I think I should do it more often, really.  As soon as the thought enters my mind, I also think, that perhaps if people knew that's what I think, that they would not understand and think I was crazy for thinking that.  Truth be told, I think it IS a crazy thought.  We are not taught to believe that we can have paradise here on earth.  Most of us, I would assume, are taught that this life is the testing ground to see if we make it to paradise at the other side of death.  As much as I believe there is a beautiful world waiting for us, that shouldn't mean that we don't make the life we have now as beautiful and as "heaven on earthy" as we can make it.  What does that look like for me?  Feeling healthy in my body, having great relationships, having a clean conscience, having a rich spiritual life, learning new things, experiencing new things, enjoying beautiful things.  So I pursue things that touch any of these things in my list. If they don't touch the things that I want in my life then I have no problem passing them up.  For example, if there's an activity that someone wants me to partake in and I don't feel like it, or it doesn't bring me some sort of satisfaction, then I can easily say no.  Most of the time, though, bringing happiness to someone makes me feel good, so I don't think I say no very often.  I love people and I love to help them help themselves. I enjoy hearing them out and giving advice when asked.  If no advice is requested, then I enjoy just listenening.  It's fascinating to learn how people think and how all of our minds work and think so differently.  I think we all tend to think that people think the same way we do and it is so hard to understand that ...nope....people see things super differently than we do.  They come from all kinds of different experiences, backgrounds, ideas, etc., that provides them a whole set of different palettes that differ from ours so that it allows them to paint their worlds so much more different than how we paint ours.  Therefore, seeing things as others see them is truly interesting to me and that is why I love to hear people out.
So onto the new year this week and see what experiences and learning this new year will bring.  I am excited and I want to welcome it all with openness and positiveness in my heart and mind.  I can say that I've never really experienced so much anxiety and fear about the future as I have in the past few months, and I just have to relearn how not to do that.  I remembered my favorite saying today,

"Be brave and mighty forces shall come to your aid" - Basil King

I will remember and apply that this coming year. Shop Amazon's Holiday Toy List - STEM Picks

I've been reading this book Abundance: The Future Is Better Than You Think by Peter Diamandis and it's giving me so much hope for our future.  One of the best things I've found on there is a reference to this Ted talk - The Best Stats You've Ever Seen.  So the book is incredibly detailed on all the innovation that has taken place and is taking place that has made our lives better, easier, more productive, healthier...etc.  It talks about how helping other people move out of poverty and into a prosperous and educated life, helps all of us.  It talks about over population and that probably the most important solution to this and the lack of education (which has a direct correlation with big families and poverty) is the education of women.  Diamandis quotes John Oldfield, who was managing director of WASH Advocacy Initiative, who says that the best thing for the problem of over population is through "increasing child survival, educating girls, and making knowledge and availability of birth control ubiquitous." (p. 42)  I was so struck when I read this.  I am in complete awe over and over again at the role women play in this world.  We are so good at what we do.  We know how to take care of others, grow our children, manage our households, multitask at our jobs, lead in our respective roles in our own unique way.  I'm not trying to take away anything from the talents of men, but I do want to focus on the talents of women, because I think we overlook our talents in so many ways.  One of the stupidest ways we do this, is women on women.  I went to a conference where the keynote speaker Walter Bond made a funny reference to a scenario where we women look at another woman and say to ourselves or to those around us "who does she think she is?".  It was funny, but oh so sad.  Sad because it's true.  We women are so afraid of another woman if we think she shines brighter, is prettier, is more successful...on and on ad nauseam, while men don't do this shit!  Ugh.  It makes me so disgusted.  Men don't go around dissing other guys because of how they look or what they say or how they feel they measure up to them.  Yes, granted guys like a good gossip story, but its entertainment to them, not fuel for bitterness, insecurity or resentment.  I just don't understand why it so ingrained in us women.  I think that we can have our gossip sessions but still support and root for other women.  We should try to take things as they are and understand that that other woman has her own problems, pains, anxieties...but more than that, she has her own strengths, beauty, talents, wisdom, experiences....etc.

I challenge all of us today that if we think negative thoughts or want to put another woman down today that we stop and realize that she's a woman just like us and maybe love her a little, care for her a little,  respect her a little...be grateful for her existence in this world.  Without her we would lose what unique perspective she has to offer and we might all be worse off without it.

The Other Side

I'm listening to this book called "13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do" by Amy Morin and she wrote something that really struck something in me and she said something like its our bad habits that weigh us down.  So even if we have all these good habits, it's the bad habits that weigh on us heavily.  That got me thinking about my bad habits.  I actually don't think I beat myself up badly at all these days...not that I never used to or that I still can some days, but for the most part, I try to accept myself the way I am at the moment, and remind myself that I am enough.  However, this exercise had me thinking about my bad habits in order to work on getting rid of them so that I am not weighed down as much, so that I can be freer in ways I hadn't exactly zeroed in on.  Well of course, some of my bad habits include negative thinking, envy, sugar, alcohol, worrying, and fearing about the future. I thought of these things and how I can start chipping away and lessening their burden on myself.  Some of these are kind of easy.  Like alcohol.  Even though I love my beer, cutting down my consumption during week days and watching the amounts closer on the weekend wasn't hard at all.  I try to wake up early every morning to go to the gym, so it's actually a lot easier when I don't have a beer or a glass of wine the night before.  I'm not as sluggish at waking up and I'm having a little more energy.  I'm also meditating so it could very well be a combination of these things.  Sugar is a little harder.  It's so innocuous, a little in my coffee, a pudding after lunch, some ice cream at night.  They're like these little treats that I can't make myself feel bad enough about to give up.  So I'm trying to just cut back even if it's just a teeny tiny bit.  See how "unhard" I am on myself?  Envy, worrying, fear...well, these things are bit tougher.  It's like I don't think I'm going to feel them and then out of nowhere...bam! There is fear. Bam bam! There's some envy....I am trying to stear clear of triggers. Social media and the news are definitely triggers.  My checking account is a trigger. I can't stop checking that though!  

So am I feeling freer?  I have to say I'm feeling a little less restless.  More centered and less frazzled.  I tend to feel a bit frazzled as the week goes on and I feel like I'm having more time to take care of me.  I want to keep practicing letting go of bad habits, little by little, and enjoy the lightness that is brought on by unburdening myself.  It's the changing of persepective that I love.  It's like I'm on one end of this spectrum, where I practice good habits, and then this other idea comes along that shows me another way of growing my soul and it just makes me so happy to see it from another vantage point.  Life gives us all these awesome cues and hints all the time.  I am trying to listen and be aware so that I can pick up on all these little whispers that nudge us forward in better ways.