Awareness of Laws

There are natural laws to our universe that we take for granted and never really pay attention to...unless we pay attention to them.  Some of these laws are (and these are not formal terms, just my attempt to best address them):

1.  The Law of Balance - things will always seek level balance.  This law includes Karma, energy exchanges, and so many other things.
2.  Like attracts like - things/people will normally surround themselves with others that are the same.  Just look around you...your friends pretty much all like you.  There might be fringes, but for the most part, they must all have some stuff in common with you and that's why you hang out together.
3. You reap what you sow - this is what I really want this post to be about.

Time and time again, when I take the time to be aware of this law, I will always be able to see this law at work.  For example, I love just meditating on the actions, choices, decisions that I've made in the past few years and then I like to take a look around at my life in the present and see how all those things have bloomed.  I like that we can't see change from day to day, but once you add time, you can really see how much things have changed...whether they be good or bad.  This is where it can get a little sad.  You see, sometimes a very hard truth to accept is this...you really do choose the life that you live.  You CHOOSE the life you live.  I know that if you are going through a hard time, sad or painful time right now...that this truth is just appalling for some, but the honest truth is that you did really choose whatever circumstances you find yourself in.  Ugh.  I know.  Now I know there are those crazy things that life throws at us and we just could never have anticipated those things...but the rest of our lives, most of our lives we really have created.  I think that since a lot of us don't realize that we create our own lives and believe that we are like a sailboat drifting along a big ocean...that we don't actually put into play a lot of things that we really desire because we don't really believe that we can have the life we really want.  However, this is just not true.

So this beautiful law is wonderful for when we get to harvest the good stuff, but we need to remember that the hard work that goes into all the sowing, is freaking hard work.  I know this.  However, I also know that its so worth it.  I'd hate to think that anyone would end up just miserable, unhealthy, uncared for, and with a life not well lived, just because they didn't realize this law was at play in their lives.  I hope that today we wake up just a little more and know that the choices we make today really are a step  in the direction that we will be towards, three years from now, 5 years from now, 10, 20 years from now!  Think about the amazing life we could be living if we put in the hard work right now.  And more than that, by who's standards is the word "hard"?  Why should it be any easier...maybe it is easy and we just need to have a different perspective.  Maybe easy is anything that we can actually do and is not impossible. Let's use these laws to our advantage.  This is our life, this is my life, this is your life...choose to make it the best possible one!

Peace and love,
Lili

Perfectly Imperfect

It's been an interesting week.  I wish sometimes that I could actually write about all the things that go on in my life and all the things people tell me...but I can't only because I value people's privacy and honor the fact that they open up to me about personal ...very personal things.  However, I do want to put out there...that as much as we are all so different...we are so fucking the same!!! LOL!  Please never think that you are more broken or so much more incomplete than anyone else.  For whatever reason, we like to think we are special in that regard...and that if "anyone knew what I think about, do, desire...blah, blah, blah" that everyone would think you are crazy.  That is so far from the truth!!  Everyone has dark thoughts, desires they think are crazy, voices in their head that say outlandish things...but I'm here to tell you that YOU are perfectly fine.  At least you WOULD be perfectly fine, if you realized how perfectly fine you are!!  All that believing that we are so broken beyond anyone else, feeds on itself and therefore makes us act out in crazy ways.  Whatever those manifestations are, are so numerous and so unique to everyone, but I guarantee you...everyone who doesn't believe they are perfectly whole just the way they are, acts out in some way.  The sooner you start working on yourself and by that I mean working your way to unbelieving the bad voices, the guilt ridden voices, the manipulative ones, the self defeating, the ones that put you down...and start listening to the still, quiet one deep down inside that tells you you're truly beautiful and imperfectly perfect, the sooner you will stop doing things to act your big bad self out!

People are so beautiful and interesting and most people don't know this even one bit.  I hope that this Friday brings each one of us closer to the realization that we are complete and whole and just exactly who we are supposed to be.  That is my wish for today.  Oh and also that my grand babies have a great birthday party tonight ;).

Peace and love,
Lili

Appreciating Moments

I read a poem yesterday, "The Last Time", and as much as it was beautiful it was also very sad for me.  You can see it here The Last Time Poem  I don't have any small kiddos at home, so I can't imagine how much sadder it would be for a parent with young kiddos!  I do however, have 2 beautiful grand babies.  

Leanna and Nana

Daniel and Nana

The truth of this poem was also compounded by the fact that these babies will soon be moving away to go with their momma and daddy to a brand new adventure!   So I felt sad for some moments..then I shook it off and went about my day.  Our day consisted of having these babies over for the day and spend the night so throughout the whole time, my mind would occasionally alight on the poem.  My mind instinctually wanted to mourn the loss of the precious moments of their childhood that I will ultimately lose one of these days...because isn't that how our mind is naturally programmed?  To use any opportunity to feel sorry for itself, to be warmed by it's sadness, to be comforted in being a victim.  So I would remember that I still have all these moments and if I were to decrease the joy of these moments, even by .01%, that I would not have 100% of the joy that these moments are offering me right now.  There is no reason to cheat ourselves out of the joy of beautiful moments.  It's like eating the most delicious chocolate cake and all the while crying because of the calories we are consuming.  We are consuming the calories, so might as well enjoy the cake!

The other reason that we should not give in to these unjoyful thoughts is that it leaves no room for being grateful for what we do have.  We are so busy thinking about how unfair it is that this won't last forever, that we forget to appreciate that we even have these moments at all!  Not everyone experiences the things we do, and we wouldn't trade places with that person, therefore we should be thankful and appreciate what we get to have.  Being thankful infuses so much more meaning into these moments because it allows us to be aware of them, savor them and tuck them into our memory bank with just a little more beautiful framing and into special places.  Ahhhh, and so then "we can have roses in winter", we can recall these moments with joy and with gratefulness...it is proven that our brain can't tell the difference between it really happening and us just thinking about it.  For example, think of a phobia you have...mine is heights, if you picture yourself in that situation, your body will respond as if it is in it.  My palms will get sweaty, my fingers will tingle, I'll get a tightening in my chest...your brain doesn't know the difference!  So to use that to ur advantage we can recall any beautiful moment and bring back all the wonderful feelings that we felt at that time...and voila! You get roses in December.  Life can be gracious that way!

Another thing we must do during these moments is to appreciate them exactly the way they are.  We can have beautiful moments but still mourning some aspect that we wish was there..."oh I wish my Mom was here to see this", "Oh I wish I had more money to enjoy this more", "Everything is perfect except for 'fill in the blank'".  When we can be in a moment and take it just the way it is and know it as perfect and exactly how it is meant to be, we can fully enjoy it and accept all the beauty and joy it has to offer.

I know this it is difficult to train our mind to think this way.  It doesn't come naturally and we have to consciously change our mind to see things differently.  However, the more we do it, the easier it becomes.  Then the easier it becomes the more we get to spend time enjoying rather that tweaking our  minds to think better.  We really eventually can gather a momentum in this type of thinking and you almost automatically are in this state most of the time.  I definitely am still working at it, but it has become tons easier.  The secret to not giving up and thinking it isn't working is to know it's a process, it's slow and to look for any teeny tiny evidences of progress.  These tiny evidences are life savers if you can spot them, because if they are there...rest assured they will only grow bigger and more frequent the more you practice being joyful and grateful of moments exactly as they are.  I wish everyone a wonderful Sunday and may you have the most beautiful day ever.  I truly believe that the best things are yet to come (C.S Lewis).  

Peace and Love,

Lili

How Not To Be A Lady

My beautiful Lolita sent me this link today: A Cup of Jo and I laughed and smiled and almost cried at some of these quotes!  Oh how beautiful we women are when we choose to be brave and authentic.  It is a breath of fresh air to be balls out and completely the woman you are meant to be!  My favorite quote from this article was this one:

Whatever you choose, however many roads you travel, I hope that you choose not to be a lady. I hope you will find some way to break the rules and make a little trouble out there. And I also hope that you will choose to make some of that trouble on behalf of women.

—Nora Ephron

I have a surge of joy in my heart and my chest when I read it and reread it.  A bubble of joy just immediately blows up inside of me and then bursts throughout all my insides and through my limbs!!!  Why??!!!   Because this is how I want to live my life...this is how I want all the women I love to live their lives!  To not be afraid of what others might think or say or smirk at...and just do that which makes you shine and rock on.  Why should we stand there and think that we are not good enough, beautiful enough, smart enough, special enough?  Who are these "meters" that we are comparing ourselves to, that we think we are below them?  Maybe celebrities, people who have money, younger women, more "accomplished" (again, what is the meter?), or any other person that we believe are in some way above us?  Oh how wrong must we be.  I look around at those I call my friends, my family, my coworkers, people on the street and I see women who are unique and special and wondrous and so then what I try to do is reflect that back on me and tell myself, that if I can see that in others...then why would I be so unique as to not have those same beautiful qualities?  The answer is that as different as I am to others, I am just the same and I, too, am special and wondrous.  I just love paradoxes!!  

A lady is proper, perfect, formal, polite, and I would say probably very uninteresting due to her lack of depth in her presentation.  This does not mean that the lady is uninteresting, it is to say the title and what it implies is.  So to not be a lady is to be deep, not afraid to be criticized, not afraid to stand out, interesting, speaks her mind, but I would also want to add that due to being deep, not being a lady means to empathize with imperfection, have compassion for others and be non judgmental.  This is what all those sparkly pieces of joy that burst inside of me look like.  Imperfect, shiny, interesting, tiny pieces of love flitter about my insides like confetti.  This is why I want to live my life like that. "I hope you choose not to be a lady." 

iPad Life Lesson

iPad Life Lesson

I lost all my journal entries on my noteshelf app this weekend. At first, I was pretty mad and disheartened by it…but then I started thinking about it and realized that for about 2 weeks, “letting go”, has really been emphasized to me. I read that we do not like to let go of things, even or maybe especially those things have taught us a lesson that we’ve already learned. We tend to keep them close to our heart and revisit the lesson over and over and not realizing that perhaps if we let go, the only thing that can happen is that we move on to the next lesson, experience, blessing, challenge…etc. So that’s what I am trying to accept at this moment. To let go of things that have already taught me what they were supposed to. To let go of memories that were beautiful at the time, but now only bring me sadness when I think of them. To let go of baggage that only weighs me down and be freer than I have been. Then I can move on to whatever it is that is coming up next for me, and during this time of “what’s next”, I want to be patient, grateful for what is and what’s now, and believe that I am exactly where I am meant to be and love as much as I can to those around me.

I know that it’s not as easy as it sounds, but it is simple. We can choose to let go…let go when we are ready, or maybe not as ready as we think we are but we do it anyway. Kind of like jumping off a ledge even though we’re scared out of our minds. Or chugging an oyster when you’re not sure if you like raw oysters. Or writing a blog post when you haven’t written in a long time so you’re pretty stale. Ha! But you do it anyway. So I will choose to let go. Even if that means choosing minute by minute…or second by second…I will let go. I will let go and look forward and not let shit weigh me down. Thank you iPad for always teaching me great things! I love you! #baggage #letgo #peace #mindfulness